To Women: From the Patriarchy

We Are Here To Protect You. From Yourselves.

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1. Exclusions for Rape or Incest:

It is true that the laws recently passed in Alabama and Georgia to defend the unborn have no such provisions. We’ve heard a lot of screaming about that, and we’re rather tired of it.

2. Travel Bans:

Until we are sure that abortion will be unavailable anywhere in the United States, or indeed the world, we must protect pregnant women from traveling to those states, nations, or regions where you may be vulnerable to it.

3. Restrictions On Internet Use:

Don’t believe the lefties when they call us a bunch of backward old white guys. We keep up with the times, and we count a number of right-thinking women among us (Governor Kay Ivey of Georgia, as a for-instance).

4. Monitoring Miscarriages:

We’re not sure exactly how a woman’s body works, but we understand there are times when a perfectly good pregnancy just goes south for reasons known only to God or nature.

5. Surgical Moderation of Female Lust:

We understand this is a sensitive and distasteful topic, but it must be acknowledged that, left to yourselves, you can be led astray by the dictates of your carnal desires.

Written by

Writer & educator. The Startup, Writing Cooperative, P.S. I Love You, The Ascent, more. Award-winning short fiction. Visit me at

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