The blithe assumption of bigots that I share their bigotry makes me crazy -- and, as another commenter here said, makes me wonder what I've done to signal that I share their hatred. A friend of mine (also white) and I were just discussing this the other day after both of us having had recent experience with racist zingers dropped into otherwise innocuous conversations we were having with people we'd thought were perfectly nice. It's always a shock, it always leaves us wondering what to do, and that's one of the reasons it happens. She and I resolved to be prepared with a response, something along the lines of "why do you assume I hold racist views — because I'm white?" And really, it's time the rest of us white people stop being shocked by our racist brethren, and call them to account. It's truly intolerable.