One of the things I find most dispiriting (pun intended) about dogmatic religious teachers or fundamentalism in any form is that it leaves those who come out from under their indoctrination very little alternative but absolute rejection. It’s understandable, and to my mind preferable to believing in a supernatural old man up in the sky who has nothing better to do, now that he’s made the world, than to judge all its people and get tetchy when they fail to praise him. But there are so very many approaches to spirituality, and to finding a relationship with the mysteries of existence — maybe as many as there are sentient beings, even those who organize themselves under certain doctrines. I applaud you for your deep and honest thinking, and for keeping an open but discerning mind.