Oh, for the love of . . . for the first paragraph or two I was hoping that this article was a parody, but as you point out,

You can’t make this sh*t up.

Gee, $2,000 would take a big bite out of the allowance my husband gives me, but if I put aside all the money I save by not eating (Step One of being beautiful = Be Thin) and not forgoing haircuts (Step Two = Have Long Hair), I can manage it. But then I have to find enough pink things to wear.