I remember, as a young teen, reading articles in magazines like “Seventeen” that gave girls like me sage advice on how to keep a boy interested. The most important tip: to listen to whatever he has to say with rapt attention, and never upstage him with your own opinions. Ignoring the queasy feeling in my center, I absorbed the message, certain it was the price of love and approval. It’s a message I’m still unlearning, decades later.