I can't begin to get my head, or heart, around the pain you and your husband are enduring — it seems the very definition of complex and chronic trauma. Our society hasn't even begun to emerge from the 19th Century when it comes to our approach to mental illness, and our collective failure makes personal experiences like your family's ever so much worse than it has to be. I am so sorry you are going through this, but salute you for telling your story as I know there are many others out there who will thereby feel seen and heard.