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How To Tell A Woman From A Cow

A handy guide for Idaho’s Republican legislators

6 min readJan 15, 2023

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(Hint: cow to left, woman to right. Photo courtesy cotonbro studios on pexels

January is a bleak month in Idaho. The holidays are over and most days are gloomy. Commuters, like vampires, emerge from their homes before sunrise and return after sunset. Schoolchildren stand shivering in the dark at their morning bus stops.

Thankfully, the January tedium is disrupted every year by the opening of the Idaho Legislature’s session. With a Republican supermajority in both houses — the ratio of Rs to Ds in the Senate is 28 to 7 and 59 to 11 in the House — one might expect few surprises from such an overwhelmingly crimson tide.

One would be wrong. Whatever else occurs in an Idaho legislative session, it’s guaranteed at some point to be entertaining, if not startling. This year is no exception: in fact, it may have set a new standard.

Of women and dairy animals

A former dairy farmer and freshman House representative from Idaho’s District 26, Jack Nelson (R, Jerome) was clearly enthusiastic about his appointment to the Agricultural Affairs Committee. Here’s the exact quote from his self-introduction at the first committee meeting:

“‘I’m a lifelong dairy farmer, retired, still own part of the dairy, grew up on the farm. I’ve milked a few cows, spent most of

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Jan M Flynn
Jan M Flynn

Written by Jan M Flynn

Novelist, essayist, inner space explorer. GRIFFIN SPEAKER, book one of a middle grade fantasy series, coming from Disney-Hyperion in spring 2026.

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